So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
