Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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