Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
