11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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