So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
