It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
