They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
