Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize