dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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