Umm I'm too high to move.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
