her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
