My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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