Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize