When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
