I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Text me some of your sweat
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
