So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
