College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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