you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
