He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
