his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
