i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
