I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
