The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
