you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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