so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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