I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize