also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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