ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Porn is love you can see.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
