Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
