someone threw a dead crab at me
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
not ubering you a puppy
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
