and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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