its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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