My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
