Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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