i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I can't turn off my feet"
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
