Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
