I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize