Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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