called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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