Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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