I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
