yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
it's like heaven, but drunker
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
