Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
