she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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