Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
