Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
