tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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