Are we in a gay sports bar?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
