i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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