Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
