do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Randomize
