Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
