and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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