His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
