??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
