I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
